I can’t nail down the exact reason for my desire to start a podcast.
It wasn’t a single event or instance that flipped the switch, but more of a culmination of unique occurrences. The difficult times within the years since I had left the military seemed as though they were a test of my willpower and self-gratification as to how bad I wanted this dream. Those difficult and trying times solidified my passion and assured me that my compass was true for this journey. The following isn’t every aspect of the journey, but it is the “match in the powder barrel”.
I believe that 2020 was a difficult year for everyone. I say it a lot, and it is part of the reason I started this podcast. The level of difficulty varies, but with the amount of uncertainty and change that existed, I believe it’s safe to say that it was a tough year for every person. I wasn’t immune to it, but it felt soothing to my anxiety that we were all going through it together.
During that timeframe, my grandmother was undergoing treatment for cancer and receiving radiation therapy.
She had a compromised immune system, so our family decided it was best that we limit contact and take extra precautions to mitigate risk while in the pandemic. It seemed like the best route to take with the information that we had available.
We stayed strong for months before it became too much for me to take. The relationship that I had with my grandma was uniquely special. My grandmother took me to school, every day from the time I went to school until I got my permit. We ate supper together (my mom, sister, grandmother, and I) almost nightly. Each week I’d stay a night at her house and we would go on a date to Hardee’s and grab a movie for the night. She was always my biggest fan and closest friend. I spent eight years in the military, and when I left it was to be close to our family. I vowed to never be separated from them by choice again. Now, I felt disconnected and forced apart. It was a terrible feeling and it caused me to act in desperation.
Those feelings caused me to act irrationally, and I’m not proud of that. I don’t share this story with many people, and most forget we ever tried to move.
But, when those feelings came on strong, I contacted our realtor and asked how soon we could list our home. I listed our house on a whim in mid-September of 2020. I developed a plan overnight, to uproot my family and move back to my hometown—in an attempt to be closer to my dying grandma.
November 2020 came and we didn’t have a single offer.
Our house was toured and we had a considerable amount of interest, but no buyer. We had purchased a beautiful house in Manchester, Iowa, but with our contingencies, the time ran out to sell our home. The upcoming presidential election, the start of a new school year, and uncertainty due to the pandemic were all factors. The end of November came and I removed the listing, feeling absolutely crushed.
I had my mindset that I would move back to my hometown, so much so that I bought weight equipment for our new home’s three-car garage, so I could build my gym.
I’d have my old high school buddies over to lift and relive our glory days, then spend my days hanging out at grandma’s house soaking in every minute of time she had left. The happy ending didn’t go quite like that.
When the house didn’t sell, I sold the gym equipment back to its original owner for even money. I used that money to finance the first half of season one of this podcast. As a stay-at-home dad, I never would have had the courage to utilize a chunk of money to finance a crazy dream. I started the podcast with the intention of interviewing the most inspirational person in my life, and selfishly to provide my family with an irreplaceable piece of my grandmother.
The cancer metastasized and spread too quickly, the podcast episode never came to fruition. But, because of metastasis, my grandma required extra care, and I was available to help out. My family was together a lot during this time period, and my mom and I stayed with grandma the day she went Home.
This morning, I left the gym chatting with my buddy, Sgt. Alcampor, USAF recruiter. The conversation turned toward his arrival in Iowa via his current specialty position. I shared some of this story with him and came to find out he and his wife had looked at our home when they first received orders to Waterloo, Iowa.
It’s as though it all had come full circle for me.
The reason he remembers my house? The Battle Dress Uniforms that my grandmother turned into a pillowcase that was on the bed during the house showings.
Love you, Grandma Joan, I hope you are proud of what we are trying to do!
